What Keeps Me Up at Night
What keeps me up at night? More like what doesn't
What keeps me up at night? Sitting here pondering the question at hand I am tempted to reword it. Perhaps more apropos would be to ask, what doesn't keep me up at night? It would seem that I have little or no defense against the forces of insomnia. Some nights, blissfully sex keeps me up, thinking about it or actually doing it. Sometimes, I just watch television, anything, anything at all that makes the sound go and the screen flicker.
Other nights I suppose the answer is largely the same as with others a hodgepodge of worries and anxieties ranging from money concerns to work to health issues:
"What is that strange, hard growth on the back of my calf, I bet it is cancer. Maybe some kind of stone, a rock that got under my skin. Could it be a parasite? an Alien? Nah."
Sometimes, I do grow gravely concerned about that state of things at large. Global climate change is going to fuck us all. Al Gore is out there yelling fire long after the village has burned down. It is too late to do anything about it; nothing to do now but just lay there in bed wondering what shape this particular impending doom will take and wonder if I would have it in me to be like one of those wandering tough guys from the movies if a cataclysm occurs. I imagine myself traveling around on a motorcycle, wearing beat up old leather duster and mowing people down with my sawed off shotgun, all in the name of righting wrongs they have done to weaker people of course.
I hem and haw and deconstruct the American political landscape. I lay there marveling at how what seems to be some of the dumbest people in our country have been elevated to positions of leadership, always concluding that we have all lost our minds. America is a great big nut house now; the dumb are in charge because, well, at least they aren't crazy like the rest of us. This depresses me, I used to love politics but the damage done by the Rice Christies and others too dumb to reason outside of strict ideology have ruined it. The whole of American debate is now boiled down to childhood shenanigans between siblings. "Mom, he started it!" and "Well, if she wants McDonalds, then I want Burger King!" Nothing to do here either, lay in bed, stare into the darkness, trying to imagine which of our leaders plays the fiddle and what the capitol will look like all ablaze when the idiot children at the wheel run this ship into ground. That and wish I could fall asleep.
These are just skimming the surface of things that keep me up, but I don't want to bore anyone.