My Prophetic Dreams
What does it say about the nature of our universe and the human mind that sometimes our dreams are prophecy?
I haven't recently paused to consider the question of whether or not my dreams are prophetic in nature, in many ways I let go of mystical questions years ago. Pausing this morning I recall that many of my dreams could be seen as prophetic, indeed at one point in my life I let them guide me. What does that mean though? What does it say about the nature of our universe and the human mind that sometimes our dreams are prophecy? I know very well what Karl Jung would say; he would say that all the knowledge in the cosmos, across all of time and space pools in some collectively shared consciousness ocean and that we all have access to that ocean. Of course only the most acutalized and enlightened can go there at will, but all of us are dropped into the waters when we dream or otherwise bypass the barrier of conscious thinking. The metaphysical ramifications if Jung is right are staggering and too much to go into, certainly some readers minds are already ticking off the questions or protestations. I am none to interested these days in the answers or whether or not Jung was right, just thinking with my fingers.
It is unfortunate because I feel I dwell on it too much, but the dream I remember the best, could be said to have fortold my cousins demise and the shape that myself and my two other best friend's grief took in the aftermath. Though it seems to be largely in colorful and metaphorical form, I have never forgotten the dream.
An old farm house on a grassy hill, the hill is steep in some parts. Instantly it is familiar, we have been there for a while and the dream has started long after we arrived. Myself, Roni, Roy and Duncan are all present or rather were all present when we arrived there. It is never revealed to me why we are there. At the point that the dream starts it is dusk and the sky is gray. I am with Duncan and Roni, we are looking for Benny who either arrived before us or charged ahead without us and is now missing.
We are approaching up a long gravel drive, coming to a stone walkway that leads up to the house. The house is a large two story structure with a wrap around porch and appears to be sided with aged, gray/brown wooden siding. It is flanked on either side by great old oak trees. Above the porch two big framed windows are open with the breeze blowing faded white curtains inward. "Stay with Roni and check out the house, I am going to look outside" Duncan breaks away heading further along the drive as Roni and I take the stone path up to the house. I bound up the stairs and cross the porch to the door, it is ajar. Roni grips my arm, her breathing is suddenly heavy and she looks at me with wide eyes "James, I am scared, something is in there." The sky has quickly turned to black, it is suddenly very dark outside.
"Its fine Roni, don't worry, we need to find him".
I swing the door open, the house is almost pitch black but a quick look reveals there is no furniture, a set of stairs runs along the eastern wall and the door has opened to what appears to be a vast open room. The only thing visible on the hardwood flooring is a shape, like a pile of something in center of the room, under a candle chandelier.
The dream changes, my knowledge of the dream changes, there are vampires present and I know it instantly and have no trouble accepting that as reality. Benny is in danger. I lunge forward into the house and rush to the center of the room. The heap in the middle of the floor is Benny, laying on his back in a pool of his own blood. Roni screeched and we both fell to his side, she threw herself up on his body. I was in shock for a moment, staggered my heart sunk down into my testicles. Though it took time, the thought that we had to run penetrated my state of shock and disbelief. I tugged and and pleaded, the tears and sobs finally starting to rush out of me; I tried to get Roni to leave his side, but she would not.
Though they were no longer together in any sense, he had always been her love, her strength and her reason for breathing. I knew she would not follow, so I turned to flee and grab Duncan, powerful, sturdy Duncan, I knew I needed to be near him. I rushed outside and across the lawn passed one of the great oaks and to the drive, spotting movement down the grass hill on the other side of the drive I made my way there. I arrived, half sobbing, half panting to find Duncan whittling the end of a sizable tree branch. "Vampires! In the house!"
"I figured" he pointed to a limp frame laying at his feet, a dead vampire, a branch sticking out of his chest. "Duncan, they killed him, Benny, he is dead." He paused and looked up at me, there was pain in his eyes, but he chewed it back and went about finishing his whittling.
"Hey what are we going to do?" I screeched through my tears. Very calmly, Duncan looked at me "I don't know about you, but I am going to kill them all." There was no grief, just anger. "Where is Roni?" he asked.
"Still inside, she wouldn't leave him."
"No, not inside." I heard her voice but it wasn't quite right. She appeared beside me, pale and hungry looking, but with the tears of grief still running down her face. I knew they had turned her. Duncan lunged at her with his whittled stake "No!" I stepped between them. "Not her!" She threw me out of the way with no effort.
"I slaughtered most of them in the house on the strength of my rage. I am leaving now, you should do the same.." and with that, she vanished. A new stronger her had emerged from that house. Duncan took his leave, heading to the house first. I sat down on the hill pulled a flask from my pocket, I drank and cried until I woke from the dream.
One year later, Benny took his own life. Indeed, though she grieved heavily and continues to four years later, Roni found a renewed strength of her own with his loss. I drank and drank and drank and cried and though I no longer drink, the tears remain. Duncan retreated into himself and self destruction, to this day he has not properly grieved and continues on a path of destruction.
Why vampires, not sure, except that I have always dug them and wrote a novel in high school about them. Strange prophecy and metaphor though.