Reports from the Bunker

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Resltess, Irritable and Discontent

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That’s what they say in AA, I haven’t been to a meeting in a long time and it is growing in me; I am getting depressed, angry, selfish and becoming a shadow of who I really am. I am hearing that nasty voice whispering to me and getting urges and cravings like I haven’t had since I quit drinking. I don’t like or feel better going to the AA Meetings here in Michigan, the Aspergers or something, makes it hard enough to connect with people and I think it only worked in North Carolina because they pulled me in, so warm and welcoming and concerned about new comers. I need to get back though, I need AA and God to help me or I am gonna find myself drunk and I will lose everything.

Thinking of trying to start a meeting with just my nephew and Kim, though she is not an alcoholic, if she can keep an open mind, it will help to have her be a part of it. I miss myself and I miss the serenity; I feel caught in whirlpool of shit, like I am being sucked under and though I can see the place I want to be and the serenity that is there, I cannot move.


Written by jamesjanus

December 14, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Posted in Addiction

Tagged with , ,

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