Today, I am grateful for
so much, it is hard to know where to start. Kim and the boys. Kim and I have had this amazing time trying to reconnect and rekindle after the stress of what has been a continuous 17 months of cascading tragedy and disaster. We have been playing and laughing, and talking and adventuring and making love, and fucking! As I continue working the Steps, trying to do so with more effort and more earnestness each week, I am feeling my “muchness” returning and today might be the first day that I have felt fully plugged in for entire day, so far.
Last night we had this fun, but also grueling night of shopping with the boys, then came home to stay up late and work on an extra credit, craft project for the youngest boy. Honestly, they worked on it while I cheered and lay on the couch because I am more than useless with that kind of stuff. But there was something so perfect and so wonderful about watching the two of them, Mother and Son, huddled over the table late in the evening, with styrofoam balls, modeling clay, paper mache and some crude directions and a sketch that the boy had drawn up. They were working together just to do it really, since it was just extra credit.
Then there is the fact that they were working with Clay and Paper Mache’ making this “Story Teller” doll with some children in his arms. Kim made the children by hand with Clay. She says she had never made it before, but they were incredibly detailed and amazing for a first effort and it just reminded me how she has always amazed me with her quiet hidden abilities that she will just whip out to accomplish some task that is placed before her.
I have to always remember; she is my best friend, she is amazing, she is my Mo Anam Cara and as long as I have her and the boys, everything is fine and everything will continue to be fine.
I am grateful that I feel like myself and I am happy today.