Posts Tagged ‘joy’
Mother, whisper on the wind that blows between my ears
Blinded by my darkness, stumbling frantic, here I am again
knowing you must be near, but losing faith and less sure
with each moment that I cannot feel you, lashing out
I am not myself the moment I feel that you have left me
Mother, touch your hand to my chest, rest your head there
let me feel your warmth washing away the pain and fear
Whisper sweetly to me until I find the light, hope and peace
Free me to be happy and useful again and in that light
guide me to be all that you would have of me, I am ill
and slow of mind and your signs must be loud and bright
lest I am lost and imprisoned by my own darkness again
I am a fool and a mongrel
but a prophet, husband, lover and father
all the same
Mother, where are you? Touch me, whisper wisdom and courage
fill up my empty mind with truth and joy and hope, enough to share
you look for someone whose weirdness matches your own. Kim tries to pretend that in comparison to me she is bland and boring, but she is goofy and sexy and smart and has her own wonderful oddities, like a wild phobia like aversion to certain types of foam material.
We are opposites in many ways, she doesn’t like my music and most the television and books that I love etc..She does not fit what you would expect from most of the persona’s that I have worn through my life, the tough anti-social guy or the academic minded intellectual, or any of it and that is precious, in part because those were just masks. She is human, heartfelt, genuine and she is smart, but not stuck in some academic box. She saw that in reality, somewhere inside of me, I was these things too. I like that she is different and we are not always in agreement, that she challenges me and helps broaden my horizons and I think I do the same for her, at least I hope so. What makes her my Mo Anam Cara? My soulmate and best friend? I don’t really know how to communicate that, there is something there, some connection and something familiar deep inside her that from the start felt like coming home, like finding that thing my heart has been searching for forever.
I am not good at life, at daily living and it will be some time before I am, yet she is patient with me and is there for me and I don’t feel judged or resented. She is hard pressed to admit it, but she is mystical like me too, her ring, which we just finally got after almost two years is entirely symbolic. With two sets of Sapphire’s representing the boys and a diamond representing us. It made her so happy to finally have it and that makes me very pleased.
I don’t know how much of it comes across in this blog, but I can be strange, odd and have some proclivities when it comes to sex and really life in general that could be seen as difficult to accommodate and accept, but it is no problem for my wife, my love and so any time I can do anything to express my joy at being with her and my gratitude for all that she is, all that she does and all that she puts up with I am happy to do it!