Reports from the Bunker

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Posts Tagged ‘poems

More rough work drafting

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I would stand in the pure light, bare and arms outstretched

touched by and touching many, flesh and flesh and joyous flesh

but longing, aching, drawing always back, flesh, heart and soul to you

your illuminating touch, and sweet breathe of love is the wind 

upon which I will thread the eye of the needle and be carried off 

into the light pure light of heaven, to wander eternal with you

hand in hand without fear, worry or pain; dancing, laughing with my angel

having been turned upon the lathe of heaven, but perfected by you

My one thought, brightest light, beautiful sky; home of my soul. 


Faith – the Word and the women will save me and drag me out of my darkness


Written by jamesjanus

March 22, 2013 at 6:19 pm

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Teeth Mother 3 – Early, Early Draft

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Mother, whisper on the wind that blows between my ears

Blinded by my darkness, stumbling frantic, here I am again

knowing you must be near, but losing faith and less sure

with each moment that I cannot feel you, lashing out

I am not myself the moment I feel that you have left me

Mother, touch your hand to my chest, rest your head there

let me feel your warmth washing away the pain and fear

Whisper sweetly to me until I find the light, hope and peace

Free me to be happy and useful again and in that light

guide me to be all that you would have of me, I am ill 

and slow of mind and your signs must be loud and bright

lest I am lost and imprisoned by my own darkness again 

I am a fool and a mongrel 

but a prophet, husband, lover and father 

all the same

Mother, where are you? Touch me, whisper wisdom and courage

fill up my empty mind with truth and joy and hope, enough to share



Written by jamesjanus

March 21, 2013 at 5:35 pm

I have missed you everyday for six years Roy

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and the nambi comes for us

not never for you anymore

having bitten for the final time

and you never to awaken

sleep beyond it and us

no more jones or dose

no hangover or headache

nor heartache or heartbreak

no more honesty and healing

you shot a whole right through

them all, with a bullet that

travels on and with ricochet

and wounds for all of us

left standing in the muck

no more laughter and love

no more confession or sex

nor arguement or cry for help

no more vision or cosmic feeling

we are without you now and now

more than ever the world seems

unkind and the streets uneven

as we don yet another black veil

to say ‘you cannot understand’

no more ancient wisdom and worry

no more world saving or beauty

nor power of love or forgiving

no more dreams or planning

you shot your whole through

these too, you see, it was not

all for you, but it was all with

you and in your absense it has already

begun the process of withering

no more cosmic muffin and doom

no more nut blessing or prayer

nor roy the goat, or the man

no more cosmic predisposition

what to say but that you failed

and in saying that; it follows

we failed too. Love and beauty

let us down or we did them, but

our journey ending with your gun

Written by jamesjanus

June 5, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Love and Lose, Except with You

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and we love and we lose from time to time

some ends have felt as though dyed in the

jaundiced yellow waters of guilt and shame

some, like a wide open sky,  blue as sapphire

warm like summer light and tasted of freedom

still others, washed in the silver white pale

moonlight, holy, quiet and necessary

I pray to godesses daily that I never know

losing your love. for it seems to me that

it would make the whole of life taste bitter

acrid and be washed in the dark and terrible

taste and color of cold winter and decay


Written by jamesjanus

May 31, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Posted in Kim, Love, Writing

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Lazy Me

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Today is no good
I am broken toes
and aching back
Overwhelmed and
way far off my track
Its too hot out there
too loud, too dark
to do much in here

after this smoke
just one more show
I’ll get up I promise
I will be on fire, here I go

Laziness make me sad
I am sure that I know but
hard work is hard
and just sitting here
Is so simple, It’s a snap

Written by jamesjanus

May 29, 2012 at 8:03 pm

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DRAFT – Everyday with You

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Talks of nothing, but wind from the lips
filling the sails of our day
just to say “I love and miss you”
when life is dull and routine

up too late together, bonfire dancing
languid bodies, couch and digital flickering
your eyes upon me, face in my hands
across the dark of night

Simple stories and tales of adventure
still to come or long long past
whisper remember when
i wish we could

Fast, boxed, home cooked food
no veggies, butter noodles
the children that wont go to bed

Right here, up north, canoe trips no water
lounge and lay and talk and talk
cheap hotels and sexy squealing
aches, burns, hardly walking

Like, the fresh morning dew
the moon wax and waning
the sun always rising
we are everyday, but mystic and exciting

Written by jamesjanus

May 24, 2012 at 7:53 pm

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I have worn so many faces
Been called by so many names
So long and hard my journey
Searching for myself among
The rubble and the road
I have taken shelter in the
In the hearts and flesh of
Lovely muses as I’ve gone
Lonely on my journey
I knew they weren’t forever
So i traveled on
Falling to my knees upon
Frozen roads and desert floors
I wandered into temples
Begging gods to give me a home
Then one day I found her
Sleeping in my arms
I told her I’m a monster
She shook head and just said no
She peered right through my armor
Her heart is not a hotel
Her heart is not a temple or a throne
Her heart is where I live now
I am finally home
I found myself where she was pointing
Somewhere locked inside my soul
Mo Anam Cara
Our journey is just beginning
We can carry in together
Our hearts connected we are always home.

I love you woman…thank you and thank the divine and beautiful for you and your golden home.

Written by jamesjanus

May 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm

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