The First Disptach is Always the Hardest

This last seven days, while civil rights leaders were dying, Congress drew lines in the sand on major issues and a plume of volcanic ash blanketed the better part of Europe with all gratitude to Iceland,  my own life reflected the apocalyptic but hopeful state of the worlds current state of flux.

I have been struggling at work and an ever-present sense of doom has been keeping my anxiety levels way up high. I believe however that in spite of having to punch upward and overcome obstacles placed in my way by management and the sheer chaos of this environment, I have turned things around at work.  Of course that was not without headaches and the damn sense of doom has yet to fully subside, but I do feel hopeful that it soon will.

Spent the weekend with my girlfriend and her two boys which was lovely, until Sunday morning. She has tried to be civil and operate with a co-parenting strategy with her ex-husband that had him living part time with her and the kids, saving on the cost of childcare because he hasn’t had a job in forever. She has not dated to speak of since the divorce some 6 years ago. Once things got serious with us she started telling him he needed to get out. So, Sunday morning he comes home and I am there, he is pissed off that I am spending time at the house while the children are present and mayhem ensues. He spent the night in jail, but is out there somewhere now and we are concerned about whether or not he is going to comply with the no contact order that was issued the next morning.  Messy, Messy and not so good for the kids.

That said, while he whiled away the hours in a cell at the Hackel Hilton, we went to a BBQ with members of my tribe (family and friends close enough to be family). That was actually very pleasant and my bunch of crazies was in a rare mood to be on good behavior.